In the previous episode, during the discussion of the Sita-Rama wedding in a deeper detail, we spoke about one of the most unfortunate happenings of the modern day society, which is divorce. We were witnessing a few common reasons for divorces to happen in the modern day. In today’s episode, we shall continue and extend this discussion a bit more and also look into some possible ways and means to prevent and curb this menace.
Yesterday we looked into some “reasons” what modern day youngsters give for applying for a divorce and one of them was “Chemistry – Not working!” In the due course of the discussion yesterday, I had stressed upon the point that this so-called “Chemistry” between two individuals will prosper slowly over time and we need to be a bit patient. Some people might be lucky that the “Chemistry” works out well very soon, whereas some might have to wait! It is quite natural for this to happen, and hence we need to develop the patience and tolerance for many things in life. I had also mentioned a bit about the art of “Sacrificing” – The moment we start sacrificing small things in life for the happiness of the other person, the “Chemistry” will automatically start blooming nicely! Unfortunately in the modern day, we somehow fail to understand this logic!
Another big reason for divorce and separation in the modern day is probably the changes in the lifestyle over the period of years – In olden days we had the concept of a “joint family” and there were many people to support and bring us out of problems and issues and in that way, things were relatively smooth. (Of course, there are numerous other issues with respect to a joint family, and we shall talk about it in a later context). Whereas, today we’ve developed the concept of a “Nuclear family” wherein we’ve virtually isolated ourselves from other people – In fact, this has gone even one step further today that we do not even know who our neighbor is! This is the highest level of “individualistic” lifestyle that we are into, in the present day! To be very frank and blunt, as human beings, if we do not meet and interact with people around, we tend to get bored and frustrated within ourselves over time and unfortunately we tend to vent out our frustration to our life partner (husband or wife), which may sometimes go overboard and thus end up in separation!
Moreover, as a consequence of being in a “Nuclear family”, we are away from our relatives (Parents, In-laws, etc.) and friends by a big margin and hence, if there is any problem between the couple, there is nobody in the vicinity to mediate and solve the issue! This is a big problem! Also, nowadays, since the percentage of divorces and separations are going up dramatically, we witness numerous such cases around us in our daily life! This itself might be a pushing factor for a few people to go for a divorce! Also, there is a new way of life that is brewing up of late – “Live-in relationship”, wherein there is no formal marriage between the couple but still they live together! Let us think for a moment – Where are we going nowadays and what are we up to? I do not want to comment on this more!
Now what is the solution for this problem? How do we tackle this issue? Of course, due to professional compulsions many of us either live abroad or in major metro cities within India and the nuclear family is inevitable nowadays! However, as I had mentioned a while back, even within a couple, seeing each other day in and day out, might be boring – Although the girl would be one of the most beautiful creations on earth by Lord Brahma and the boy might be the most handsome person on earth! 🙂 But logically speaking, how long can we look at each other? This is where the importance of “Satsangs” and “Saadhu-Samaagama” comes into picture. The moment we associate with good people around with healthy friendships (Saadhu-Samaagama), we get to hear good things (Satsang) and thus we would be able to channelize our minds and hearts towards “Dharma”. It is to be thus noted here that by exercising this healthy association with good people, both the husband and the wife are happy and in-turn, the family life would prosper beautifully! The more we develop the “Bhagawat – Chintana” (Thoughts about Bhagawaan) and the more we talk about the aspects mentioned in the Ramayana, Mahabharata, Bhagawat Gita, Bible, Quaran, etc. at home, Bhagawan dwells in all our hearts and homes and thus in turn, happiness will rule!
Thus, reading these holy books of various religions should ultimately lead us towards the path of spiritual advancement and self-realization! It is so unfortunate and saddening to note in the present day that reading spiritual books are politicized, especially in India and are used as tools and means to take on political opponents! Today I came across an article in the news that a so-called leader of a so-called “Grand old” political party in India declaring that he is reading through the Bhagawat Gita to take on the opponent political party! 🙂 How funny is this!!!! Frankly, I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry after reading through this! It is shameful to know that we’ve stooped to such low levels to politicize a religion in the modern day!
Thus, coming back to our subject, the important lesson to be learnt by us in the modern day from the Sita-Rama wedding is that, the couple should be united together in all circumstances – both happy and sad, and follows the path of “Dharma” together, without the question of a divorce or a separation in any case!
There are a few other important rituals in connection with a wedding ceremony that are to be talked about. We would look into the reasons why we perform those rituals and what is the significance behind each of it. Let’s wait till the next episode to find out! 🙂