In the previous episode we had witnessed that, as the demonesses keep threatening Sita, Trijadha (Vibheeshana’s daughter) wakes up from her deep sleep and shares a very strange dream amongst all those seated around Sita. She explains how she witnessed Rama and Lakshmana to be victorious and how Sita is being rescued by both of them, to take her northwards towards Ayodhya. Meanwhile, Ravana is seen going towards the southern direction towards the “Yama-Patna” wherein he along his brother Kumbakarna and others meet a tragic end to their lives! Saying thus, Trijadha gives a suggestion that if they had to escape from what is anticipated to happen in the future, it is better that they surrender at Sita’s feet and ask for her forgiveness for all the tortures metted out to her.
Upon hearing this, the demonesses were afraid at one moment and on the other hand they were heavily instructed by Ravana to go about their job of convincing Sita to marry him. They were perplexed as to how to go about. Thus after a certain time period, they were too tired of convincing Sita anymore and they go to sleep.
It is at this time, Sita is uncontrollably sobbing. She is missing Rama like hell! She cries out aloud saying, “Oh Rama! What wrong did I do to you? Why are you making me suffer like this? It is only because of you I’m alive and I’m resisting all these insults thrown at me by Ravana and co.! Now that you are also not going to come any sooner to take me out from this horrible place. What will this poor girl do? Should I come to a conclusion that you are not coming to save me anymore? Should I put an end to my life because I’m never going to see you anymore in my life? Oh Rama! Oh Lakshmana! Oh Kaushalya! What a huge difficulty I’m going through in my life! Is there no end for all this torture that I’m undergoing?”
“Na maanushee raakshasasya bhaaryaa bhavithumarhasi!
Saadhashothasya vipulaam shaakaamaalampa pushpithaam!!
Chinthayaamaasa shokena bharthaaram bhagana maanasaa!
Haa! Haa raamethi sumukthaa Haa unar lakshmanesicha!!
Haa shashroor mama kaushalye haa sumeithre vibhaaninee!!”
From the above slokas, Vaalmiki Maharishi brings out Sita’s lamentation – She continues to lament out of extreme torture – “Haa Rama! Haa Lakshmana! Haa Kaushalya! Haa Sumithra! I’m like an orphan here, without anybody of you around me! How am I going to live any further in this world without seeing any of you? Haa Dasharata! If King Dasharata was alive by now, I would not have been pushed to this level of sorrow! I just have only one wish now. I just want to see only one thing in atleast my dream: I had sent Lakshmana to go in search of Rama, who had gone to capture that golden deer. I want to know if that Lakshmana has met Rama after I had sent him from the cottage!”
It is to be noted here that, Sita still doesn’t know if Rama and Lakshmana had met each other after they went after the golden deer (Maareecha). It is because, before Rama and Lakshmana came back, Ravana had carried away Sita by then. Hence Sita thinks to herself, “If Lakshmana would have met Rama on that fateful day, then I don’t have any problem, because, my Rama would be alive! But if Lakshmana is not with Rama by now, then Rama would be dead! Can’t I see atleast this in my dream? Oh!! Everybody else would have that opportunity to see Rama and enjoy his beauty, and it is only me who has lost that opportunity, although being his wife!”
Crying and lamenting thus, Sita comes to a conclusion that she cannot tolerate this torture from Ravana anymore. Day in and day out, Ravana is torturing her in different ways, so as to marry her! Sita is running out of patience. Ten months have gone by! She is still yet to see light at the end of the tunnel! Hence she decides that she would end her life by herself by committing suicide!
“Na hi me jeevithenaarthaha vaivaarthair na cha bhooshanaihi!
Svathanthyaa raakshasee madhye inaa raamam mahaaratham!!”
Thus Sita concludes that she cannot live amidst these demonesses and this wicked Ravana anymore and she finally decides to end her life! How is she going to do that? She decides that she would tie one portion of her saree to the branch of that “Simshupaa-Vriksha” tree under which she sits and hang herself with that branch and the tied portion of the saree!
Thus, the decision is made! Sita gets ready to commit a suicide! Now what is going to happen next? Will she go ahead to execute what she had just planned? The action continues in the next episode!